A verbal altercation with a family member and the impact it has had on me. | angelj's Blog

This is the first time I have ever posted anything in my blog and I am now writing whilst angry, tearful and very frustrated so I hope all of this will make sense.

I have an uncle who has been there for me with a lot of support and guidance probably since I was born, he was the person in my life who taught me to read and taught me that education was important and because of these things he instilled in me from a young age I have sacrificed other areas of my life, I am not always sociable , don't have many friends and feel misunderstood by many of the people that I know.

When I was around the age of 21he told me that he suffered from varying degrees of mental illness, he has a very short temper and is very quick to react by being both verbally and physically aggressive to those around him who upset him. He and I have just had the most verbally violent altercation I believe I have ever had with anyone in my life which has really frightened me as I am neither verbally nor physically aggressive to anyone usually we had a verbal exchange (I won't go into detail as it was over the most minimal of things) and my uncle has just wished me dead, he in fact told me that I should never have been born as I was born with a defect (cerebral palsy, for those reading this who don't know).

He and I have had arguments before, but never to the degree that he has wished me dead. I said some things too for which I have just called him and apologised, but he told me that I don't deserve to have friends and that because I believe myself to be above the intellect of others and because of the attitude that I have I will spend my life on my own  and I deserve to have it this way. He knows that I believe I have some form of depression and that my greatest fear is that I will spend my life on my own. My uncle has always lived a solitary life and now lives in accommodation with other people who have mental health issues, and although I am taking steps to rectify the situation that I'm in with regard to my lack of social life. I am afraid he may be right in his prediction and that my life has started to reflect his. I am now almost 28 years old, I am in fact the age he was when I was born and as much as I love him I don't want my life to be the way his is now. I don't know what to do . I don't even know if any of this makes sense. I just needed  to vent my frustration and this seems to be the only place I can do so and get some sympathetic advice right now.

Angel x